My name is Anita. I'm originally from Malaysia, and I moved to the UK in 2018 on a spouse visa. Today, I hold Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR), which means I’m a permanent resident. I live, work, and contribute here, just like my British husband. I work in the mental health sector, and like everyone else, I pay my taxes, rent, bills, and all the rest.
But my path to becoming a permanent resident wasn’t easy. While being married to a white British man might look like it would smooth things over, the reality was very different. The money we spent dealing with the Home Office could have easily gone towards a house deposit. And if your visa gets rejected, that money is gone. No refund. I know because it happened to me. Twice.
Eventually, we had to hire an immigration solicitor. Only then was my application approved. I’ll never forget what the solicitor said to me: “That’s how the Home Office makes money.” That was during the Conservative government. From what I hear, things have only gotten worse and more expensive under Labour.
Like many immigrants, I’ve faced challenges. But mine came with a twist. It wasn’t just about bureaucracy. It was also about family. My in-laws welcomed me into the family with kindness, and I’m grateful for that. But we don’t see eye to eye politically. They’ve been convinced that immigration is the root of this country’s problems. Apparently, I’m the exception.
They voted for Brexit, supported UKIP, and recently, the Reform Party. My husband was furious. We both found it hard to understand. His parents worked for the NHS, side by side with immigrants. They used to say the NHS would collapse without us. And yet, they still bought into the idea that immigrants are a burden.
They talk about “illegal immigrants” as if they’re draining the system, but they lump all immigrants together. I’ve had to remind them that before getting my ILR, I had no access to public funds. None. Even now, as a permanent resident, I still can’t apply for benefits because our household income is too high. My husband and I, together, are in the top 5% of earners in the UK.
I’ve also tried to explain that asylum seekers are not illegal. They’re people fleeing war, persecution, and poverty. Yes, they’re given hotel rooms sometimes, but they’re not luxury suites. They don’t get iPhones or designer clothes, no matter what some tabloids say. They get basic shelter and support. That’s it.
It broke my heart when my in-laws voted for Reform. And it hurt on a personal level. I told them clearly: a vote for Reform is a vote against your own daughter-in-law. The very policies they support would harm people like me. Extra cuts to National Insurance on top of the existing ones, more privatisation of the NHS, and many other policies that would hit working families hard.
And then there's the issue of Palestine and Israel. I was shocked to hear them express support for Israel without really understanding the history. They were caught up in the idea that all Muslims are somehow a threat, forgetting that I’m a Muslim too. Again, they said, “But you’re different.”
Now, whenever I see them, I take it as a chance to educate. I explain. I share facts. I talk about my lived experience. And I’m proud to say that they’ve started to listen. Their understanding has grown. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress.
My next mission is simple: keep them away from Reform.